The roar of the crowd, the crisp fall air, and the glimmer of the Friday night lights shining down on the football field at Inglewood High—that was the setting for a love story that has lasted six decades. Sixty years, two children, and a lifetime of memories later, Alan and Brenda Goatham of Wrightwood are proving that high school sweethearts can, in fact, go the distance! As they celebrate their diamond anniversary, they share the challenges, triumphs, and wisdom that have led to sixty years of love.
When it came to first impressions, “I thought he was crazy but very cute,” Brenda beamed as her mind went back to that football game all those years ago. Just out of high school, at a mere sixteen and nineteen years of age, they knew this was a forever kind of love and were preparing to be married. With the invitations sent and the excitement of the big day just a week away, an announcement would be made over the radio that would change the course of their wedding day plans.
President Lynden B. Johnson had signed an executive order that would take effect at midnight on August 26, 1965, officially ending the deferment of married men for the draft to serve in the Vietnam War. Having been counting on the deferment and not wanting to face possible separation after their marriage in a week, Alan made a call to their preacher to see if he could come to their house and marry them before the midnight deadline. As luck would have it, the preacher was available to come and thus Alan and Brenda officially married on August 26, 1965, in a ‘63 Chevy pick-up truck, which they still own to this day! A week later, the Goathams would get to have their perfectly planned wedding ceremony and reception to celebrate with family and friends by their sides, sharing the news that they were already legally married.
For a young couple in 1965, life wasn’t always easygoing. With not a lot of money and long hours working in downtown LA, it was a bit of a struggle at times. Over time, Alan and Brenda welcomed two daughters into the world, and life changed again. With a job change from oil to shipwork, which came with graveyard shifts for Alan, it didn’t leave much time at home to spend with Brenda and their growing daughters. With all of the constant to-dos of life, the Goathams knew it was important to take time for each other. “We always took one weekend a year to go on a trip, just the two of us,” shared Alan.
While their early marriage was marked by necessity, their decades since have been defined by intentional joy and notable achievements. They have created family traditions that include their annual family Christmas party, where Alan gets to play Santa for all the children, creating core memories to last a lifetime. About ten years ago, they bought their cabin in Wrightwood, establishing a mountain retreat. “Wrightwood is our hideaway,” expressed Alan. Now, as they celebrate their 60th Diamond Anniversary, they reflect on a marriage full of love and laughter. When it comes to fond memories, their 50th anniversary party sticks out as a big one with almost forty guests jumping into the pool late at night, clothes and all! A perfect snapshot of the fun-loving spirit that has sustained them for six decades.
Alan and Brenda Goatham believe the secret to their success isn’t one grand gesture, but a few simple, essential qualities. First and foremost is camaraderie, with enduring friendship and mutual support that allows them to face any challenge as a team. Next up is compatibility, not just in interests, but in core values and the ability to enjoy quiet time together. Most crucially, however, is the shared understanding that any lasting union requires a daily commitment to compromise. Both partners have to be willing to give and take, a balance they’ve gracefully perfected over sixty happy years. Last, but definitely not least, is their parting advice to newlyweds and married couples alike: try to never go to bed mad.
With their two beautiful daughters, three granddaughters, one grandson, and two great-granddaughters, for Alan and Brenda Goatham, the love continues to flow. Cheers to many more years!
